Dear Diary: How can I get ME back?

You may have recently gone through some hard times and you can't quite figure out how to regain your confidence. Whether you've just broken up or lost your job, devastating times seem to weigh heavier on women. We are still expected to maintain our sanity while being a mom, a homemaker, or simply a shoulder for another girlfriend. Here are a few things that you can do to get YOU back.

1.) Dress up for NO Reason: Have you ever been dressed a little fancy for a place that didn't require the effort? For instance the grocery store or to pick up the kids from school? You would either get funny looks or someone will ask "Why are you so dressed up?" Deprogram yourself to believe that a party is the only time to celebrate. Throw on those 4-inch pumps in the back of the closet and celebrate the NEW YOU.

I love wearing heels in the most random places, especially the airport. No matter the time of my flight I always fly the friendly  skies in a pair of pumps. It's so fun and it gives you a sense of celebrity. People wonder who is she and where is she going. Don't let the attention intimidate you. You need the confidence boost at this point. Of course it's more comfortable and easier to wear sneakers, but again deprogram yourself to thinking that you only have to dress up for obvious reasons. Getting YOU back is a celebration!

2.) Exercise: Being physically fit plays a major role in having self confidence. You don't have to be overweight to exercise. Everyone needs a healthy heart no matter their size. If you are a little intimidated with going to the gym, try yoga or zumba.

3.) Surround yourself with positive people: Positive people are usually happy with themselves and the way their lives are going. These are the types of people than can quickly uplift you. Get rid of the negative friends. Besides, will they be happy for you once you're in a better place?

4.) Complete some of the things on your bucket list: It is important to broaden your expectations and experiences to avoid making the same mistakes over again. Try something that you've never done to remind yourself of how rewarding life can be. Each time you try something new you will be able to look back on your life and clearly see what was lacking. Do you want to go back to those times?

5.) Daily Affirmations & Positive Reads: Trade in your daily fix of celebrity gossip for inspirational books. Continue to read them for the positivity reinforcement even if you start to feel like you are on track.

Here is a list of some of my favorite positive reads:
-Miror,  Miror by Venesha
-Fabulosity: What It Is & How to Get It by Kimora
-Your Best Life Begins Each Morning: Devotions to Start Every Day of the Year by Joel Osteen

Other ways to get YOU back:

-Set goals and execute them

-Become your own best friend

-Compliment others

-Sit in the front row

-Remember what you’re good at

Dear Diary: How can I deal with the Negativity that Comes with Success?

The very first lesson that I had to learn as a new Entrepreneur was how to deal with negativity professionally and personally. No matter what type of business or industry you are in, there will always be criticism. It does not matter how positive you are, or even if your business is dedicated to saving the world - no one is exempt from it. What matters the most is how you receive it and react to it. Here are a few steps that can help you deal with what comes with success:

1. There is no such thing as a HATER. Let this phrase be the 1st thing you remember when you are confronted with negative people. Anyone who takes the time to talk about you, write about you, or even keep up with your activities, can't possibly be a hater. So I like to think of them as FANS. When a fan talks about you to someone else, think of it as free advertisement. The person that is receiving the information will more than likely research you and then build their own opinion from there. You will be surprised at how much business you can gain just from a little negativity. So appreciate your fans because ultimately they are helping you out.

2. Hear No Evil. It's easier to brush off negativity when you don't take in as much. If someone is trying to tell you something that you know will shift your mood, STOP them. Tell them you'd rather not hear it. Keep your positive mood in tact by blocking out the nonsense.

3. Recognize the weak. Have you ever given energy to something and then moments later you were upset with yourself for even responding to it? You my dear did not recognize the weak. Here is a good example. A few months ago I received a rude comment about me in my blog post (Dear Diary, I don't get along with other women), which I thought was ironic. Did I respond to it? NO. Why...because I immediately noticed 2 key things. The first thing was that the writer chose to remain anonymous. And the second thing that stood out was that this person was on my blog and writing the comment at 8:00am. People who rather handle issues anonymously usually don't think highly of themselves, so they rather hide. Why would that type of person be worth a response if they don't feel worthy enough to show who they are? And the fact that the comment was written so early in the morning instantly put them into a FAN category. I hate stink bugs, but I don't wake up thinking about them or researching them. Fans are the opposite. Once you recognize the weak, you will easily have the ability to control who and what you respond to.

4. Starve your critics. In other words, don't feed into the negativity. The one mistake that alot of people make is addressing negativity on a public forum such as Facebook or Twitter. A critic usually has nothing to lose or an image to protect. But as a professional, You DO! A critic's job is to bring you down to their level. A level that consists of unhappiness, incompetency, and jealousy. Are those the characteristics that you want representing your company? As a professional, your actions will be more damaging to your brand than someone who has nothing to lose.

5.Know that you cannot please everybody. Seeking satisfaction can be an emotionally draining task. Have you ever received an overwhelming amount of  positive feedback on a task or project, but later found out that one person thought differently? Somehow the 1% seems to outweigh the 99%. You let it suck the energy out of you and you may even start to doubt how great your project really was. These feelings are built upon false thoughts of being able to please everyone. You cannot please everyone, but realistically you can strive for the majority. And most of all stay true to yourself.

6. Don't become your worst critic. There will be enough people to take that spot in your life. Remain strong and be your own cheerleader. Don't let your critics cause you to doubt your mission. Having critics to begin with is a good indication that you're doing GREAT!

7. Lesson Learned. Some critics can offer you valuable advice. But it is hard to take it in when the delivery is negative. This is why it is a good idea to delay responding to it. There may be a true message there and a response may not be necessary.

8. NEVER Retaliate. There will be many people who will try to slander your brand and ruin your reputation. Will they succeed...? That is determined through your actions. No matter what, you must not retaliate. By doing that you are shifting your universe in the direction against success. A business is not successful just because of your work. Your attitude and energy play a major part in succeeding. Retaliation will eventually cause more damage to yourself and brand, rather than to your critics.

Please feel to share your thoughts and how you deal with negativity.

Dear Diary: The Misconceptions about Designers...

If you are planning to own or already own a business, then you should know that it is imperative to have a great graphic designer by your side. And the relationship between you and your designer will need to be strong and comfortable. As a professional designer, I have experienced and heard of many scenarios through clients and fellow designers. I thought it would be a good idea to clear up some of the misconceptions that are associated with our profession.

1. Ideas are instantaneous: I believe this is a common misconception with any creative field. Most of the time art comes from inspiration, so it may take a trip to the store or a walk through the park to come up with a solid creation. Our mind doesn't automatically generate a creation instantly. Allow your designer to take in your notes and have a few moments or even a day to think of a concept.

2. We don't take constructive criticism: When a designer disputes a change or a client's idea, most of the time it is seen as he/she is being a "know-it-all." A seasoned designer usually knows what works for your audience. Yes, you are paying for a design and you want what you want, but sometimes your vision or idea may hinder potential business for your company. Your favorite hot pink color on a flyer may not work if you are targeting a male and female audience. A designer passionate about their work will try to persuade you to choose a more logical design. Not only is the person a designer, but they are also thinking as a consumer. It is fine to share your ideas, however allow the designer to do their job as well.

3. We MUST work 24/7 and on your project only: Although most designers (including myself) work more than they sleep, we are still human beings. We like to sleep in on Saturdays, we like to post a Facebook status every now and then, and we like to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner too. In fact some of my clients are probably wondering why and how I took the time to write this lengthy post lol :o) Know your designer's official work hours. If you received an email at 3:00am from him/her one day, it does not mean they MUST work on your project at that time on another day.

4. Simple projects should be cheaper: Design work is normally priced with quotes and some designers have set prices. A simple letter logo may look easy but from what I experience, the simple projects usually take more work and time. Don't associate price with simplicity, when in fact it takes more time to make it look so simple.

5. We overcharge: Like with most hands-on work, you are charged by the time and labor. However, aside from those expenses, we also have charges with photos, fonts, and other designing essentials. Always remember that marketing and branding is a representation of yourself as well as your company, so the investment is definitely worth it. I find that people who go with extremely cheap designers are usually left dissatisfied. They usually have to spend MORE money hiring another designer to redesign what they initially paid for.

6. We are just twiddling our thumbs: The #1 complaint that I hear is that a designer is taking too long. The 1st thing that I ask when I hear that complaint is "Did you give them a deadline?" Most of the time they have not. You cannot expect your designer to know that your project was needed last week if it was not communicated. Also know that projects and project times are unpredictable. The project ahead of yours may have required more time or work. Give yourself and your designer enough time ahead of your deadline to produce a great creation.

Hopefully this post has changed your perception about designers. A positive and comfortable relationship is important for the designer as well as the client. I would love to hear your feedback! Please follow my blog to comment, or email me at davida@oddballdsgn.com.

Dear Diary, How can I Maintain Good Karma?

When you think of Karma, do you think of bad karma first - What comes around goes around? Do you find that you are always involved in bad situations? Karma is simply the process of cause and effect. If you do Y then Z will happen. Until you learn a lesson, you will continue to receive the same message through repeated experiences. If you are constantly receiving negativity then it is time to practice good karma.

Now practicing good karma does not mean you will be shielded from all bad things or life's natural disasters. Karma is activated through things that you control such as thoughts and actions. I have listed a few methods of maintaining good karma, but please remember that your heart and mind must all be on the same page as well.

-Give back: Once a month or a few times a year, find a charity or volunteer event that you can participate in. Giving back for a cause is a great selfless way to help many people at one time.

-Reach out to Someone You May Have Hurt: You may have had an altercation or a fall-out with someone years ago. Although you may say you're over it, there are still lingering issues that keep it open as an "issue". If you saw this person on the street, you would probably be reluctant to speak. You are over it verbally but not mentally. Reach out to that person to clear the air, explain your side, or even apologize for your part in the problem. Don't worry about what the person will say or think. Your purpose is to clear your wrong-doing in the past.

-Have General Respect for People: Often times we treat people according to what they look like, how they dress, or what they have. If you have a general respect for human life then none of those things should control how you treat someone initially. Smile at a homeless man the same way you would at a successful businessman.

-Share your knowledge: Be open to helping someone get to a higher place. Withholding knowledge or information because you want to be higher is only activating bad karma. I'm not saying that you have to give someone your business plan or blue print to success. But at least lead them to similar resources to get them started. A lot of people withhold information because they are intimidated by the possible competition. Just remember that no matter how much information or knowledge someone has, talent can not be mimicked. Don't worry, you will still stand out!

-Make sure your intentions are TRUE: We can manipulate other people, but you cannot manipulate karma. When doing something positive, always make sure your intentions are true. Sometimes when I donate items or participate in a charity I ignore the part about writing it off on your taxes. To me that is contradicting doing a good deed.

-Remember that YOU control your Karma: Have you ever gotten in the line of a rude and nasty cashier and you ended up giving her the same attitude in return? Well by doing that you gave her total control of yourself and your future. Learn to smile and remain calm despite of what is given to you by someone else. You cannot fix a person's attitude within the short minutes of you being in their presence, so don't even try to. That is either their personality or they have something going on in their lives. Don't let their energy become yours.

Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences of good karma.

Dear Diary, I Don't Get Along with Other Women

The most popular statement that I hear from other women is "I don't get along with other females. They're too this and they're too that." Well I'm here to tell you how to change that mentality if you ever plan to evolve into a successful person.

1. Don't meet a person before meeting the person. If you've got it in your head that every female that you meet is going to be catty, back-stabbing and jealous then you're automatically setting up your own negative attitude. How do you know what she's going to say or do? And why is she guaranteed to be or do anything negative? Because you are being the negative one in reality. No matter how many times your previous friends have stabbed you in the back, you should allow new people to show who they are before you assume anything. Have you ever met someone and you were really shocked at how nice or cool they were? That is because you went into the situation with negative thoughts. Please don't ever say out loud that you don't get along with women. That is a major RED flag and you're basically describing yourself. Focus on your own personality so that you aren't categorized negatively.

2. Respect Differences. If women were as black and white as men then we would ALL GET ALONG. But that's the beauty of us - we are so much more interesting. We don't just see purple, we see magenta, fuchsia, and grape. If we met and only interacted with people just like ourselves than how will we evolve? How can we become better people if everyone is supposed to say, think, and do everything the same way? Sure, it's great dealing with people that have the same interest as you, but also be open to someone who does things a little differently to broaden your versatility.  

3. It's OK to give a compliment You're not a lesbian if you give another woman a compliment. Leave out "No Homo" when saying something nice. When did being complimentary become a homosexual thing anyway? If you see that another woman is wearing something nice or looks great, it's okay to acknowledge greatness instead of looking for a flaw to point out.

4. Everyone is not jealous of you. I will be so glad when the word "hater" is retired, dead, and buried. Everyone does not want what you have. And everyone does not "hate you because you're beautiful". What you ARE is far more important than what you HAVE.

5. She's not the Problem, It's YOU. You don't have more male friends because you don't get along with women. You have more male friends because you are intimidated by any possible challenges with women. And I don't mean challenges as in disagreements or attitudes. I mean being challenged to look within yourself or compare your life to someone else's. When meeting someone that appears to be at the top of the ladder always know that they started at the bottom at some point. When you see someone who "thinks they're all of that," allow them to have their moment, because you don't know what they had to go through to get to where they are now. When those jealous feelings come about, know that your time to shine can be closer to reality if you focused more of the steps to get you there.

6. And lastly, just put the cat claws away. You could learn so much about life, people, business, etc if you dismiss the preconceived notions. The same girl that you think will potentially stab you in the back could be that one person to help you jump start your business. Don't ruin the chances of having clientele, resources, or even a lifetime friend with the silly and negative thinking. We are always preaching about how men mistreat us, well our behavior towards one another is no different.

Thank you for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts.