Saturday, July 9, 2011

Dear Diary: How can I deal with the Negativity that Comes with Success?

The very first lesson that I had to learn as a new Entrepreneur was how to deal with negativity professionally and personally. No matter what type of business or industry you are in, there will always be criticism. It does not matter how positive you are, or even if your business is dedicated to saving the world - no one is exempt from it. What matters the most is how you receive it and react to it. Here are a few steps that can help you deal with what comes with success:

1. There is no such thing as a HATER. Let this phrase be the 1st thing you remember when you are confronted with negative people. Anyone who takes the time to talk about you, write about you, or even keep up with your activities, can't possibly be a hater. So I like to think of them as FANS. When a fan talks about you to someone else, think of it as free advertisement. The person that is receiving the information will more than likely research you and then build their own opinion from there. You will be surprised at how much business you can gain just from a little negativity. So appreciate your fans because ultimately they are helping you out.

2. Hear No Evil. It's easier to brush off negativity when you don't take in as much. If someone is trying to tell you something that you know will shift your mood, STOP them. Tell them you'd rather not hear it. Keep your positive mood in tact by blocking out the nonsense.

3. Recognize the weak. Have you ever given energy to something and then moments later you were upset with yourself for even responding to it? You my dear did not recognize the weak. Here is a good example. A few months ago I received a rude comment about me in my blog post (Dear Diary, I don't get along with other women), which I thought was ironic. Did I respond to it? NO. Why...because I immediately noticed 2 key things. The first thing was that the writer chose to remain anonymous. And the second thing that stood out was that this person was on my blog and writing the comment at 8:00am. People who rather handle issues anonymously usually don't think highly of themselves, so they rather hide. Why would that type of person be worth a response if they don't feel worthy enough to show who they are? And the fact that the comment was written so early in the morning instantly put them into a FAN category. I hate stink bugs, but I don't wake up thinking about them or researching them. Fans are the opposite. Once you recognize the weak, you will easily have the ability to control who and what you respond to.

4. Starve your critics. In other words, don't feed into the negativity. The one mistake that alot of people make is addressing negativity on a public forum such as Facebook or Twitter. A critic usually has nothing to lose or an image to protect. But as a professional, You DO! A critic's job is to bring you down to their level. A level that consists of unhappiness, incompetency, and jealousy. Are those the characteristics that you want representing your company? As a professional, your actions will be more damaging to your brand than someone who has nothing to lose.

5.Know that you cannot please everybody. Seeking satisfaction can be an emotionally draining task. Have you ever received an overwhelming amount of  positive feedback on a task or project, but later found out that one person thought differently? Somehow the 1% seems to outweigh the 99%. You let it suck the energy out of you and you may even start to doubt how great your project really was. These feelings are built upon false thoughts of being able to please everyone. You cannot please everyone, but realistically you can strive for the majority. And most of all stay true to yourself.

6. Don't become your worst critic. There will be enough people to take that spot in your life. Remain strong and be your own cheerleader. Don't let your critics cause you to doubt your mission. Having critics to begin with is a good indication that you're doing GREAT!

7. Lesson Learned. Some critics can offer you valuable advice. But it is hard to take it in when the delivery is negative. This is why it is a good idea to delay responding to it. There may be a true message there and a response may not be necessary.

8. NEVER Retaliate. There will be many people who will try to slander your brand and ruin your reputation. Will they succeed...? That is determined through your actions. No matter what, you must not retaliate. By doing that you are shifting your universe in the direction against success. A business is not successful just because of your work. Your attitude and energy play a major part in succeeding. Retaliation will eventually cause more damage to yourself and brand, rather than to your critics.

Please feel to share your thoughts and how you deal with negativity.


  1. This hits home on so many levels! Thanks Davida.

  2. Vida this was right on point and very true.